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A journal on America's glorious mission in Iraq, providing freedom to millions of Iraqis and defending our homecountry's national security interests. By yours truly, Don Rumsfeld.
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
Greetings, patriots!
Some of you may have heard something about DoD's DRMS selling NBCs to the GAO, as requested by the HSNSETIR, a unit of the GRC. Believe me, it's not true at all. NOT TRUE, I say!
Hrm. Well, alright. Some of it may be true. But still, the only person who is responsible is the Head of the DRMS. He was installed by Clinton (that cheating traitor), and from the moment I first met him I knew that he wasn't fit for the job. You can recognize these fellas right away. They have long hair, they're often Democrats, hippies, they wear jeans (and not cowboy jeans, the hippie kind), they're "progressive", don't believe in traditional values, ...
Anyway, you know the type. They're the ones who are responsible for the destruction of American society in the last 11 years, after HW wasn't re-elected.
Anyway. He's also corrupt to the bone. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's corruption! Call me old-fashioned, but I'm a man of principles. I accepted this job to help the american people, to help them live in freedom and capitalism. My utmost duty is to the American people.
This man - on the other hand - knows no duty but to himself. During his desastrous reign over the DRMS, everything went wrong. He was also one of the only members of the Pentagon staff who didn't cooperate fully with me in the War on Terrorism.
Really, I've been trying very hard to minimize the damage he's caused, but I can't stop everything. That's probably why some minor classified material slipped through and was sold to the GAO. Big deal.
So if this is true, it's all the fault of this degenerate liberal! Too bad I can't fire him because the DNC likes to keep its puppets in the Pentagon! See? It's all the fault of the Democrats, as usual!
Of course, part of the problem is the GAO and the HSNSETIR. Without them constantly looking over my lardy shoulders, I would have a lot more freedom to do whatever's necessary for protecting the American people, even if that means that some radical liberal terrorist-aiders are put in jail.
Some of you may have heard something about DoD's DRMS selling NBCs to the GAO, as requested by the HSNSETIR, a unit of the GRC. Believe me, it's not true at all. NOT TRUE, I say!
Hrm. Well, alright. Some of it may be true. But still, the only person who is responsible is the Head of the DRMS. He was installed by Clinton (that cheating traitor), and from the moment I first met him I knew that he wasn't fit for the job. You can recognize these fellas right away. They have long hair, they're often Democrats, hippies, they wear jeans (and not cowboy jeans, the hippie kind), they're "progressive", don't believe in traditional values, ...
Anyway, you know the type. They're the ones who are responsible for the destruction of American society in the last 11 years, after HW wasn't re-elected.
Anyway. He's also corrupt to the bone. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's corruption! Call me old-fashioned, but I'm a man of principles. I accepted this job to help the american people, to help them live in freedom and capitalism. My utmost duty is to the American people.
This man - on the other hand - knows no duty but to himself. During his desastrous reign over the DRMS, everything went wrong. He was also one of the only members of the Pentagon staff who didn't cooperate fully with me in the War on Terrorism.
Really, I've been trying very hard to minimize the damage he's caused, but I can't stop everything. That's probably why some minor classified material slipped through and was sold to the GAO. Big deal.
So if this is true, it's all the fault of this degenerate liberal! Too bad I can't fire him because the DNC likes to keep its puppets in the Pentagon! See? It's all the fault of the Democrats, as usual!
Of course, part of the problem is the GAO and the HSNSETIR. Without them constantly looking over my lardy shoulders, I would have a lot more freedom to do whatever's necessary for protecting the American people, even if that means that some radical liberal terrorist-aiders are put in jail.
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
Greetings, underlings.
What's all the fuss about? Why is everyone so upset about this leak?
Look, I've known Karl for years. He's a decent man. We used to work together for HW, who was RNC Chairman in '73. Those were the days. The two of us, working together for our country/the GOP.
We've both come a long way since then, but we still get together every once in a while in a plush restaurant for dinner, paid for by the DoD, to catch up. Sometimes we also invite some execs to join us, to discuss the economy, the war, and their RNC donations.
It was one of those dinners that Karl mentioned something about a certain "Wilson" or whatever, who'd discredited the Niger connection. How dare he! That was my best idea in a long time!
We all agreed that he should be taught a good lesson. Namely that a good patriot should always believe and follow the Commander-in-Chief and his DoD secretary.
Then, one of our invites, a KBR board member, had a brilliant idea. This fella's wife was a covert CIA agent. He has access to these kind of things through his friend George T, you know. Anyway, he also knew this Robert...Na-vok guy, or something. Said he worked at CNN. Now, this Robert fella still owed KBR a few favors, and the board member proposed to ask him to leak the information to the masses in one of his columns. We all agreed that it was a great idea.
And that's all there is to it.
What's all the fuss about then, I ask? It was simply a small thing that we did to discredit this anti-american before the masses started believing in him! I wish the storm would lie down, so that we can get back to more important issues like my overwhelming success in Iraq.
Greetings, your faithful
Don.
PS Remind me to pay back KBR someday.
What's all the fuss about? Why is everyone so upset about this leak?
Look, I've known Karl for years. He's a decent man. We used to work together for HW, who was RNC Chairman in '73. Those were the days. The two of us, working together for our country/the GOP.
We've both come a long way since then, but we still get together every once in a while in a plush restaurant for dinner, paid for by the DoD, to catch up. Sometimes we also invite some execs to join us, to discuss the economy, the war, and their RNC donations.
It was one of those dinners that Karl mentioned something about a certain "Wilson" or whatever, who'd discredited the Niger connection. How dare he! That was my best idea in a long time!
We all agreed that he should be taught a good lesson. Namely that a good patriot should always believe and follow the Commander-in-Chief and his DoD secretary.
Then, one of our invites, a KBR board member, had a brilliant idea. This fella's wife was a covert CIA agent. He has access to these kind of things through his friend George T, you know. Anyway, he also knew this Robert...Na-vok guy, or something. Said he worked at CNN. Now, this Robert fella still owed KBR a few favors, and the board member proposed to ask him to leak the information to the masses in one of his columns. We all agreed that it was a great idea.
And that's all there is to it.
What's all the fuss about then, I ask? It was simply a small thing that we did to discredit this anti-american before the masses started believing in him! I wish the storm would lie down, so that we can get back to more important issues like my overwhelming success in Iraq.
Greetings, your faithful
Don.
PS Remind me to pay back KBR someday.
